A New Dream

         We usually ask kids, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I had lofty ideas on what I wanted to be when I grow up. Usually, my chosen future occupation varied but it was mostly to be a doctor! I admired my pediatrician. I also felt that being a doctor was prestigious. My mother, of course encouraged this dream. Who wouldn't want their daughter to be a doctor, right? As I grew up, I kept this dream in vision even looking up medical schools as early as my freshman year in high school. I  enrolled as a nursing major for my bachelors with the intent of going to medical school afterwards. However, as I "grew up" even more, I discovered that my strengths lie else where. Others have taken notice as well but I refused to give up on my childhood dream. It took getting kicked out of nursing school to help me realize that I no longer want what I wanted as a child. I embraced my hidden love of teaching. When I pursued this, I felt as though I have found my calling.
           After graduating, teaching jobs where few and in between. I acquired a job as a teacher assistant for a special education program. This was a completely different territory that I ended up loving. It was a humbling privilege to serve this student population. Then, I wanted to go back to school and pursue a special education degree. However, God certainly has His own way of constantly directing me to His path for my life. I got married to an amazing Godly man (more of our story in another blog and its another awesome testimony of God working in my life).
            A couple of weeks after our great wedding, I was pregnant. I did not think I would get pregnant right away. I had this plan that I could maybe work for a little bit before having children. Of course my plans usually get in the way of God's plans. I did not feel the joy that a new baby should bring right away. All I could think about is my dream of having a career will never be accomplished. I was always told that I could have it all- a career and a family. But I know the reality that you cannot have it all. One will always be somewhat neglected. You cannot exert your 100% on both. I wanted to go to work and provide for my family along with my husband.
           After much hesitation, tears, a lot of reinforcement from God's Word and prayer, I knew what God has called me to do. This was the hardest choice I ever had to make. This choice certainly became a little easier when our little son was born. Just spending day to day with my son assures me that I will not regret submitting to God.  To stay home was now my new dream. This choice still continues to be challenging on days filled with round-the-clock feedings, sleepless nights, blow out diapers, and piles of laundry. It is also difficult specifically when people ask, "What do you do?" I hope one day I can answer this question with much pride that I am a homemaker instead of dodging it.
           Day by day, God is adjusting my perspective. This new dream is so much better than I could have ever imagined because this is God's will for my life.
        
Romans 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." (ESV)

How about you? What is your dream? Did you achieve what you said you wanted to be when you grow up?